I've been busy, but not busy enough… I think I'll treat the return to the interwebs like tearing off a band-aid. Just jump right in...
I love driving. I enjoy the feel of it. I'm not a car guy tho, I don't care what it is I just like driving. The control, the movement, the multi-tasking, the group dynamic of traffic. I'm weird and i embrace it. Music is a big part of that driving thing. Everywhere i go can be a journey.
My current mode of transportation is a remarkably reliable compact car. Domestic because whatever but it works. It has a radio but no connections for Ipods or anything like that i'm going to have to fix that at some point but for now its local radio. I love some of our local stations. I love that Chuck has been on the air since I was the age of my students. I miss Phil and Brant but the music is really what I like.
Before I begin please be kind in your judgement of songs, remember I’m at the mercy of the radio… and yeah I know that’s not what some of these songs are talking about but I don’t really care, I look for meaning… But I would like to give you a glimpse into my journey to school today.
Today’s journey began with the chorus of Katy Perry's Teenage Dream “let's runaway and don’t ever look back, don’t ever look back” I mean I was in a car, I was going, I could… run. My state has given me reason to. My country told me last night, money and fear mean more to them than the future and freedom of my children and my students. No, of course I wouldn’t run away, but only a fool would think I, and countless other teachers, didn’t have that thought cross our minds.
I flipped the station. The Edge had the The Head and the Heart's All We Ever Knew. And “all we ever we do is all we ever knew.” rambles on the as the chorus. It was such a sobering chorus as i recalled what happened last night. I teach history. I cannot emphasize how REAL this is right now. “I'm trying to wake up from this.” he sings later. Even the damn la la la la la la’s make sense. I know I’m reading too much into this but it's how I process and how I think we are supposed to relate and learn.
And as I pulled into school and a station flip gives me Gnash's I Hate You I Love You with the chorus “I hate you, I love you, I hate that I love you…” There aren’t words for where and how we are right now. There aren't words for how I feel about my country. Van Jones spoke for so many parents last night. So many of my students. We have to do better than this, and we will. I love what this country can be, I don’t like what it expressed last night.
Then my day started…
I found it hard to smile in the hallway. Some of these kids are scared, and they have a real reason to be. They were told last night, their country is at best indifferent, and at worst, complicit and condoning of their suffering.
We are watching 1776 in class this week as a reward/learning opportunity for the incredible work my students have been doing this year. In spite of this climate, in spite of knowing the adults don’t care. This has been and will continue to be an interesting and tough year teaching our nation’s history. And my student's will learn and grow. And be more prepared than we were.
We got thru about 30-35 min of the musical and then spent the rest of the time discussing what we witnessed.
Pieces of the musical are remarkably relevant. The conflict between the interests of rights, specifically property rights, was telling. What is worth fighting for? What is valued? Gleaning from the results last night, teachers got the message. The kids got the message as well by the way, they aren’t cared about. Their future is not worth the sacrifice or even the attention of their elders. We. Are. Failing. Them.
Judge Wilson’s comment “we could let loose the beast without an ability to control it”. Boy was that one that stuck with a few kids. There is new territory for us. These are just short thoughts. I don't have it in me to unpack all of these right now.
Also, Franklin’s description of the “new race” that was spawned on this continent holds a number of apt adjectives for our current state. “More violent, less-refined". There is some evidence now that those traits are still there...
Our country, state, and community needs work. Our hearts need work. I’m not religious but I’m glad I was once. I’ve lost so much respect and faith in people I never thought I would. I’ve found so much more to this work and in this world and in the hearts of those I’ve met. We are a good people. Humans have the capacity, we just have to find it again.
My Ipod came thru for me after class. I had the headphones in walking to the car, and Portugal the Man's Modern Jesus . This is one of my favorite songs. This was listened to a lot last night... The words of the chorus "Don’t pray for us, we don’t need no modern Jesus, the only rule we need is giving up, the only faith we have is faith in us…" We are beyond prayers. Action is needed. It’s time to grieve, it's time to reflect, and it's time to continue working.
The Buddhist proverb has never meant more to me now,,,
Before enlightenment, chop wood and carry water, after enlightenment, chop wood and carry water.
We all woke up today (if you're reading this anyway), and we all lived our lives today. We had class. And we will tomorrow. I'm going to let the kids talk. It's their future, and its our responsibility to fight for it.
